You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
