I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
