I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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