I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
