She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
