it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
