the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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