TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize