Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
