I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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