Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
