I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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