Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
