The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
