Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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