i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
