You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
