i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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