Do vagina's smell?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
