Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
We talked him into tasing himself.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize