I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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