There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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