I hate your face
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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