peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
