Your face is a jimmy john
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
