They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Randomize
