took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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