Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
