help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
