She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
