I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
