She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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