We're facebook friends in real life
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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