seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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