I wanna passion pit in your ass
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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