He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
