She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
