This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
They are going to name an STD after you.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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