So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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