She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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