just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
