Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
