he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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