Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
