The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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