SEEEEXXX PLEASE
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
