god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
