I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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