Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
