plz talk dirty to me
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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