i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
