I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
