I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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