Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
