In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Randomize
