sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
