Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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