that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
