your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
