I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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