hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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