Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
