I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
No subtext here. People are naked.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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