At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Randomize
