i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Randomize
