I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
